All posts tagged: The beast

Monique

My Saving Grace

I wrote this poem as a tribute to the person I hurt the most whilst being hospitalised and losing myself and my mind completely. Though, in my mind, I had treated her as badly as you could treat another human being, not for one second did she ever consider giving up on me. She was my saving grace. This is for her and all the other friends and family who have had to witness their loved ones going through what some of us can only describe as hell and not being able to stop the pain. In this small patch of sunlight, I feel myself grow. I think of you often, and more than you know. I silently thank you for holding my hand, while I clung to a thread with my head in the sand. I searched for some peace and I pleaded my case, while my spirit dissolved in this pitiful place. Meanwhile, I watched your heart in suspense, in me, you struggled to find any sense. Wild eyed and raging, I ran …

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“MAKE-UP”

   I feel like it’s the end, then the beginning And I’m all over the place I feel like I am just spinning In an empty space One minute, I am winning Now I am losing the race I thought I was grinning But I cannot embrace This is just a headache That I cannot erase I look for the break But I fall to my face I’m running towards the line But does it exist? I thought I was just fine But I have bleeding wrists Tell me it’s just a dream So I can wake up Life can’t be this mean There must be a hiccup Is this what it seems? Can I have a make-up?

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“Soul Wrenching” : Forgiving Yourself While Grieving Over Someone Else

What does forgiveness feel like? Sound like? Look like? Do you even know? I know what it’s like to forgive myself and be kind to myself… But what do you when you’ve done that but you still can’t be forgiven by someone else? You don’t stop your progress. You do keep moving. The clock continues ticking. But damn it hurts so much. People change… Have I lost my touch? I’ve learned. But I guess bridges can’t be unburned. The tides can’t be unturned. And they are no longer concerned. It’s like a ghost that only you can see. You’re haunted and taunted by the friendship lost. That part of you is so lonely. You grieve but never completely. It’s because you hope and you pray and you wish for them to come back someday. That’s less than one day to me. Come back to me dear friend as you scream THAT to the sky! The screams become whispers and the whispers… become… nothing. Nothing can ever be done again. But that’s why. They are finished …