All posts tagged: panic attacks

“Ghost Of Myself” : Paralyzed

Often there are times I feel like I just can’t go on. Going in spirals around myself. I get triggered. Lately it’s the slightest things and I’m in the “Bermuda Triangle”. Things out of my control. It feels like nothing is in my control. My feelings, my thoughts… just everything. Especially what happened to me. I can’t get it out of my head. I’d give anything to erase it, but I know I can’t. I’m waking up in cold sweats. Shortness of breath. Letters and numbers and flashes. All I remember. Broken shards of reflection from my brain. It won’t let me. Do I really want to remember? Who would? I become prone to shock inside my own fear. And there I am and I can not move. Does anyone else feel this way? How long to do I have to feel this?.. I used to self-medicate. I used to be prescribed anxiety medication. Now, I drink on occasion… but that’s it. Have I ever been this sober in my life? It’s different here in …


   I feel like it’s the end, then the beginning And I’m all over the place I feel like I am just spinning In an empty space One minute, I am winning Now I am losing the race I thought I was grinning But I cannot embrace This is just a headache That I cannot erase I look for the break But I fall to my face I’m running towards the line But does it exist? I thought I was just fine But I have bleeding wrists Tell me it’s just a dream So I can wake up Life can’t be this mean There must be a hiccup Is this what it seems? Can I have a make-up?

Ask About BPD: Blackouts

  Today’s Ask About BPD question is: My son has blackouts very frequently after he has a violent episode. He sometimes doesn’t remember it either. He tells me when he is raging he looses his eyesight and hearing too and sees only black and hears only ringing in his ears. Can you explain this? First, I would like to say thank you for asking a question about this very important, yet rarely spoken of, facet of BPD. There are a few things that occur when we have these types of episodes and your son may be experiencing one or more of the following: Flight or fight response that may be disproportionate to the situation Panic attacks/Panic disorder Episodes of dissociative amnesia. I will explain all three. The Fight or Flight Response. Most people know of this response as our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee”. This response is often caused by feelings of excessive stress either from internal or external circumstance. The fight or flight response bypasses our …