All posts tagged: emotional dysregualtion disorder

What the heck is this Mindfulness I keep hearing about?

Rebloged from: My Journey With BPD by Michael Johnson: What the heck is this Mindfulness I keep hearing about? 12/18/2015  Mindfulness has sort of been the new buzz word in Mental health treatment. Much spawns from DBT therapy which tells us that we are where we are. Mindfulness teaches us to stay in the moment. This practice far out dates the recent attraction to it. Many far east meditation practices incorporate it and have for thousands of years. One of the best coaches ever in basketball was Phil Jackson, AKA “The Zen Master” I recently read an article on ESPN where All NBA player Stephen Curry of the Champion Warriors listed it as the 1st of 4 fundamental beliefs their coach Steve Kerr preaches, who played for Phil Jackson. I practice mindfulness every day. I have to. My brain is designed and developed different from others. It’s not natural for me to be in the moment I am (re) training that part of my brain. I had breakfast with my father yesterday and saw my …

BPD Voices Project: Monique’s Voice

From the BPD Voices Project: I am not sure who I am writing this to. Perhaps myself. Perhaps to you. Perhaps to no one at all. Everyone is moving on. The world is moving on. It turns and turns without me. Spinning on its axis as it has done for billions of years. I am drifting in the wake of my own big bang. I am stranded in time. I’m breathing what was long-ago and merely existing in the future. My body floats above everyone, and my insides hide away in a crevice of the past. I am smiling and hoping for everything to end. I am deleting history. I am handing out the last rose. I am lying in the sun, the white sheet beneath my burning body. I’m searching for someone who can fill the gaps. I find someone and dig a hole. I love someone, I dig deeper. I still love. I miss her in spite of myself. I hate her. I love her. I love and hate everything that she is, …

BPD Voices Project: Monique

From the BPD Voices Project: I polish all the tools and skills I am armed with, to know that the feelings are only visitors. They come and go, even on days where I feel like they’ve made themselves at home and seem ready to move in. ‘They are only here for a short stay’ I whisper into my pillow. Never have anyone tell you your feelings aren’t real. They are as real as the sun rises every morning. Sometimes I am sad for no reason at all, but feeling sad doesn’t mean we will never be happy. Feelings are only feelings. Allow yourself to feel them. I am at peace with this cloak I have draped over my shoulders. I do not question its existence because I could search every corner of the universe and still be no closer to finding an answer. I don’t need an answer but I do need a solution. I have spent many years learning how to tame the beast inside me. Sometimes it’s just the tiniest of actions or …

Ask About BPD: The Drama Triangle

Ask about BPD: Parenting Relationships I was diagnosed with BPD about a year ago. I believe my mother also has BPD, but is undiagnosed. We have a really rocky relationship, but my daughter loves her grandmother so much. Do you have any tips on how I can improve my relationship with my mother? I think this is a question we have all asked ourselves at some time or another. For some of us this question applies to our mothers, others to our fathers. I will explore what I’ve come to understand in regards to having a relationship with a parent experiencing BPD. I can list many things that play a part in the complexity of the situation: BPD Parenting Style. If you are unaware of BPD Parenting Styles here is an article that explains them. Emotional Age Maintaining Realistic Expectations Setting Boundaries The list goes on and on, but it does not get to the heart of the situation: The Drama Triangle and its role in dysfunctional families. The Drama Triangle The Drama Triangle was developed by …

Ask About BPD: Mental Illness Jokes

“I saw a post on a friend’s Facebook page. She posted a picture about OCD then ‘tagged’ a friend of hers followed by a laughing smiley emoticon. Obviously saying that her ‘friend’ was ‘so OCD!’ It infuriated me! And although I felt offended I didn’t comment. I have never seen this sort of thing actually posted by a friend of mine…but if it was related to a physical illness, surely there would be an outrage?” Mental illness as an adverb used to really infuriate me. This anger would inevitably lead me to post a verbal rant that was so strongly worded it would make anyone take notice. But when one of my outbursts led to the loss of a friend I sat myself down and asked, “Why is this such a trigger?” The answer was simple: When I see these “jokes” I feel invalidated and that others see my struggle as laughable. My struggle is not a joke. It’s real and it’s messed up! I wish we could have these people spend one day in …

Schemas and Schema Therapy: The Basics

What are Schemas? A schema is a mental concept that informs a person about what to expect from a variety of experiences and situations. Schemas are developed based on information provided by life experiences and are then stored in memory. People use schemes to organize current knowledge, provide a framework for future understanding, and evaluate cause and effect. Schemas often dictate how we interact and predict social situations and interactions. They allow us to develop expectations about other people based on the social role they occupy. We develop expectations about other people’s behavior based on their personality traits and our past experience. We use schemas to develop “scripts” or ways of speaking, behaving, and responding to social interactions. Schema themselves are not bad. They are necessary to create and maintain a stable worldview. Schemas can become negative when they develop under maladaptive or negative situations. Maladaptive Schemas Early Maladaptive Schemas are our negative automatic thoughts or “life traps” we don’t consciously know exist. They are incredibly deeply rooted in us, are broad and complex, and …

Ask About BPD: BPD Types

Original Question: I’ve heard there are types of BPD, like low functioning, high functioning, and translucent. And within these types there’s the “acting out BPD” and the “quiet BPD.” Exactly how many types are there and what are they? What are the differences?   It has been said that there are 256 possible combinations of the symptoms that make up BPD. Due to the extreme variance between what causes a person’s BPD (what type of trauma/trauma duration and severity, what kind of environment the person grew up in) it’s hard to know how their experience of BPD will manifest. Individuals with BPD will fit into different subtypes, ways of functioning, schema modes, and coping styles. They may also switch between a myriad of them throughout their lives. No one will ever fall neatly into any category completely. This is partly due to stressors and the environment we’re in and it’s also due to the experience of identity ambivalence in those of us with BPD. Theodore Millon came up with the following subtypes and said that …

BPD Voices Project: Journey into an Unknown World

For The Voices Project My Journey Into an Unknown World During my high school years, events began to transpire. I used drugs, alcohol, seeked love & affection from boys that liked me, skipped classes and hung out with the wrong crowd which got me in a lot of trouble. I had my car taken away from me and I was placed once in indoor suspension. When my parents found out about the drugs, my mother took me to get evaluated at a place where I would have to stay for a certain period of time. That didn’t happen because the counselor felt all I needed was to see a therapist for my anger and temperament. My mother took me to one, it helped calm me down for the moment. I changed, became more mature, met a guy which my father had hired at our family-owned photography business at that time when I was seventeen. Three years later we got married. I had my two children 3 and 4 years after that and separated 4 years …

BPD Voices Project: My Story

I have no shame anymore telling people that I have mental illnesses don’t get me wrong I wasn’t always like that. But I believe the only good out of having these illnesses are that I can try help others out of that darkness they are hiding in. Look at me how I present and ask yourself if it can’t happen to you. 3 years ago I was in the ambulance service great job great life great family then one day I found myself on top of a cliff and I jumped missing rocks by feet. From there I went to hospital then was sectioned and that’s when the pain really started a journey I wish no one will ever experience ever. I had no idea what was going on in and out of mental units drugged trying desperately to hang on to life and wondering how this could be happening look at me do I look mental to you ? I got diagnosed with BPD ( border line personality disorder ) psychosis and PTSD ( …

BPD Voices Project: Just Get Over It.

I am 35 and I am sick. My head hurts, my body hurts, I can’t eat most days and would do almost anything for a good nights sleep. I used to see my father and grandfather walking like old Jews and would laugh, now I have to laugh at the fact that I too walk like an old Jew. I have a medicine cabinets a small shop in Mexico would die for. It has everything I need to make “make me well,” but the side effects make me ill. What I have is not making me die any quicker than I already am. I have BPD with depression, and anxiety, and chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia and a mysterious disease. But people do die from my dis-ease, it’s called suicide, and we even have survivors. I am going to be a survivor! Even though I have vowed to myself this is something I will die with, and not of, doesn’t mean I can just get over it. I can’t say, “well this was fun lets …