Month: May 2016

The Beauty in Destruction

“Later that night I held an atlas in my lap, ran my fingers across the whole world and whispered ‘where does it hurt?’. It answered everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.”-Warsan Shire I’ve always found inspiration in nature. A tree growing out of a boulder can be a quiet example of resiliency and fortitude. A river slowly carving a canyon through a mountain over the course of millennia can be seen as a lesson in patience. Both of these seemingly small forces of nature are entirely unaware that they create a permanent change in the landscape around them. Nature proves that life is struggle, and that beauty comes from that struggle. I found myself seeking retreat in nature again this weekend. My heart broken, and filled with negativity, I set out for a weekend of hiking. I chose hikes known for their steep grades and drop offs because in my mind, this just might be my last day on earth. Onward I trudge, my usual delight with hiking replaced by a crushingly persistent internal dialogue constantly reminding me …

Carers support vs “consumers” support.

Lately I have been at conflict regarding the amount of support available for “carers” vs the support available for people with Borderline Personality Disorder (labeled here as “consumers”). To be honest, the amount of services and groups (support and otherwise) available to people caring for someone with BPD greatly outweighs anything available for us. It is easy for carers to get caught up in the whole “needing help to deal/cope” with someone with BPD thing, yer it is easier still for people with BPD to feel helpless, when there are currently not significant services available to treat their associated needs properly. Helplessness in BPD people breeds disaster, we all know this, feelings of helplessness, neglect, isolation and rejection can result from lack of good service, and yet seeing the people who “care” for them access services instead can also make them feel vulnerable, rejected, and angered at the state of affairs. The whole thing is a mess really – pathways do not exist for BPD diagnosed individuals – we are given a diagnoses and told …

Save your thoughts

Here is a little mantra to help us through those days when our minds run rampant with thoughts that in reality, really don’t matter. Thoughts that serve no purpose other than to make us miserable and cause us to question ourselves. Inevitably we will feel that gut wrenching pain that comes hand in hand with those thoughts, as fleeting as they might be. For me, I know that often it’s impossible to stop the thoughts, but I know that I have it in me to manage them and take back the power that has the potential to wreak havoc over my insecure mind. Perhaps we can remind ourselves that our thoughts are just like any other thoughts. They are just visitors passing through and they can only be sustained for so long. If we make the choice not to feed them, if we rid them of oxygen and starve them of life, we are able to reclaim that upper hand, so to speak. As much as it doesn’t ever feel like it at the time, …