Month: April 2016

We’re Still Here

You know who I am. We share these feelings, you and I. Many times we have awoken to the agonising sensation of the air being sucked from our lungs. We know the feeling of our stomachs contorting with pure, unadulterated grief. We’ve felt the vicious heat rise from that terrible place that we often call home and we’ve witnessed the bloody waterfalls tumbling recklessly behind our eyes for days, for weeks, for months on end. There are days when our skin hangs limp off our bodies like cheap tissue paper, and days when we’ve needed this not to be our truth. As strangers we have felt this together. We’ve shared a collective memory despite our flesh not ever having met. A memory with a common thread that doesn’t call our frail existence into question. Too many fingers on too many hands are needed to count the number of times we have sunk, but just as many hands have returned to propel us back to the surface. Amongst all this chaos and terror, we have risen up time and time again. Every time. We are still here …

The Madness of Dictatorship

The notion of how easily we allow other people to dictate the way we feel is mind boggling. Sometimes my insides are so frail that I can’t help but succumb to even the most toxic of human beings, allowing them to shape me, mold me, soften me even more. Soften me to the point where I no longer have control and no knowledge of what I will feel next. I surrender to their words, their scowls and their smiles as they lay down the groundwork for my next move. I let them pull the strings and decide how much of themselves they are going to offer on any given day. Not only do I allow all of this to happen but some of the people whom I love the most, the genuine people, the ones who don’t brand me with an iron will, these friends of mine are the same. They let others take over and unknowingly give them permission to make them feel a certain way. Perhaps that’s why I love them so much. It’s …