Month: July 2015

BPD Parenting Types

BPD Parenting Types and Their Affects on Children *Trigger Warning When discussing BPD parents it is important to note that the extreme examples in this article are reflective of individuals who do not recognize their behavior as disruptive. They are unaware of their experience of BPD and how they are passing maladaptive behaviors on to their children. When we step back and look at their behavior as maladaptive patterns and traits we often separate the individual from the disorder. This “stepping back” can look clinical or cruel, but in identifying these patterns of behavior we can see the implicit and explicit effects they have on others. The language used in this article is meant to identity patterns of parenting behavior that lead to disruption in their children’s ability to function as a whole adult. Why Understanding Parenting Types is Important Parenting types are a large part of who we are and who we ultimately become, and the long term effects of any parenting style is important to understand. Children that have a parent(s) who experiences …

Living with BPD: Setting Personal Boundaries Part 1

Living with BPD: Setting Personal Boundaries Part 1 Setting personal boundaries can be very difficult and frightening. Our fear of abandonment makes us not want to offend anyone. Our inner voice calls us names and makes us question our motives. We can feel like setting boundaries is a symptom of the pushing and pulling that comes with experiencing BPD. Sometime it feels like it is easier to say yes than deal with the internal consequences of saying no. Or is it? Although we are often stereotyped by our outbursts, what people don’t see is what is happening inside. We want to please others. We want to feel connected, loved. In an effort to be everything others want us to be we live a life without boundaries. Weak boundaries leave us likely to be taken advantage of, and/or even damaged by others. Setting clear personal boundaries is necessary to have mutually respectful, supportive and caring relationships. They set the limits for what you deem acceptable behavior from those around you. “You change for two reasons: Either …

“Spinning Out” : Not Always Grey

  Having Borderline Personality Disorder absolutely drives me insane. In fact I’m sure that my disorder absolutely drives everyone else crazy too. Right when you start to think you’ve found that happy medium… some sort of balance… well right then is when it seems to fall the hell apart. I think… I’m good and just maybe the madness is finally ending. Except it never ends. It’s okay for a little while. But when it finally starts falling apart again it’s a downward spiral right …back to black. There is not even white. It’s just not always Grey. No matter how much you wish it will be. First I explode once and then the dominoes just start tumbling like the speed of light. But just like it’s not always okay and certainly not always Grey… it’s not always bad either.  No matter how perfect the storm appears to be. So I lost control. What can I do? Try to make it right and do better. And just hope that next time you fall apart it wont …

“Unseen And Unheard” : From Another Planet

It is said that we are like chameleons. Can adapt to any role… with any crowd, as scared as we are of the crowd. But that is exactly why we do this. It’s why I do. One minute I can be the life of the party and the next you may see me standing in the corner observing, so unseen. As to avoid being attacked. Life is like this. People are like this. And sometimes I don’t want to be a chameleon at all. Sometimes I don’t want to just blend in. Sometimes I just want to be normal. Have normal emotions. Have normal reactions and thoughts. But what is normal but just another stereotype? What if we are the normal ones? But considered aliens. So foreign. They don’t understand us. But we understand them. Probably better than they will ever understand themselves. This is our dilemma. This is our unseen battle. Probably the kindest people you will ever meet while that kindness is mistaken for so many other things. Accused of attacking while feeling …

“Fighting Yourself” : Finding Yourself

All the things that we project inside and outside of our mind matter. What we say… what we feel… what we think… what we do. It all matters. Go outside and tell me what color the sky is. Mine is purple with tints of blue and orange with a beautiful sun rising. Would I feel this way if I weren’t in a good mood? Would it then be black… with tints of white? Today I feel great watching the sun rise. …But when I am not feeling so cheery, the sun would be too bright and I would want to go back inside. I slept well, and today I feel productive. Today… that is what matters. I try not to think too hard about yesterday and tomorrow is already today. This moment is what matters. I used to dread waking up. Dealing with the world and all of its non-beauty. Dealing with myself. Then I started learning that I am just not alone in all of this madness. Others feel defeated. Others want to scream …