Living with a disorder that makes you question every bit of your sanity is just insanity. Everyday I wake up and it’s the same battle. Do I even want to wake up? Is it even worth waking up? All it takes is the slightest thing to change that. I walk outside and the sun shines down on me, and suddenly I am in a state of Euphoria. It’s like God himself reaches down and touches my shoulder and says “Mary, it’s going to be a good day.” And so it is. the rest is uphill from there. But then there are the times when I wake from a nightmare and cold sweats and the devil grabs ahold of my tender soul and precedes to tell me I am nothing and I am worthless. Ironically someone else usually ends up telling me the same thing on the same day and from there I am just in hell. A hell I have created for myself. If you build the hell then you can navigate it right? No… once you fall into that hell you become lost in a sea of darkness and faces that all look like you but aren’t you. These of course are metaphors. There is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Most of us have seen the cartoons. Everyday… this is my life. Is it yours? If it is, then thank God I am not alone. And I will just keep writing, because the words are written with an angel’s hands. My hands. And I will not allow anyone to make me feel lower than I am. Neither should you. Let your angel write for you.