From the BPD Voices Project
**** The following discuses suicide and the people who are left behind.
I never thought we would be standing here so soon in our lives. The last time I talked with you, you sounded down but I didn’t know things had gotten this bad. If I had known I would have come sooner. Called more. Told you I loved you.
It doesn’t seem so long ago we were working to find a better place for ourselves in this world. You looked like you had it all. I guess things aren’t always what they seem on the outside.
I had a dream last night. I was crying in my bed. I was so sad. You were gone. I couldn’t believe you would do this to us! To me! But then I felt a weight on the foot of my bed. You were there!
You asked me, “Why are you crying?”. I laughed then said, “don’t you know you are dead? Gone? Shot yourself because you couldn’t handle the world? Left us here to pick up the pieces.” And you said, “It ain’t all that bad. Nothing to cry about. I am always with you. I am at peace.” It was so real. I woke up startled, but at peace at the same time.
Was it you?
I see them coming for you. Coming to take you to where you will lay for eternity. Covering you with a handful of dirt I cried. I guess this is the end. I will forever have a hole in my heart.