Month: March 2015

girl alone

Ask about BPD: Relationship cycle

Ask About BPD Today’s question is being answered by Kayla. I have a question. I have a loved one with this illness. I love her dearly but she’ll go weeks, sometimes months without talking to me. I think she’s a caring individual but is battling herself. I give her space but I do worry about her. She is medicated but still self-harms. I validate her and have educated myself. I am just wondering if I am going down a dead end road. This is a tough one. I’ve struggled with this before, too. I have a close friend who I sometimes don’t see or talk to for months at a time. Part of BPD is unstable relationships. We want people around but want to be alone at the same time so we often go back and forth from being super social to total isolation. Part of it is the aspect of BPD called splitting, or black and white thinking. We go up and down a lot. Another part that it ties into is the pushing-away-the-people-we-care-about-most. …

Breathe

BPD Voices Project: Breathe

Breathe Inhale, exhale Just breathe. That’s all you can do That, and think rationally, Sanely. Everything going through your head, Everything you feel, Is really nothing. Not worth it. So you breathe Inhale, exhale But you can’t control it any longer, You need to do something, Hit something, Scream, A release. You know only one thing will cut it, In more ways than one. You pick up the blade and inspect it, Study it, Trying to understand why it’s so powerful. Then you press it to your skin, And suddenly, Everything is ok. And you breathe, Inhale, exhale. -Lacey Ontario Canada

young-woman-bored

Ask about BPD: When others do not understand

Ask about BPD Why is it so hard for people to understand what a nightmare BPD is? How it affects your everyday life. With major depression as well. It’s a total nightmare. Given up on psychiatrists, they don’t help and medication doesn’t work. No wonder people self medicate. Thanks for listening, Frustrated Thank you Frustrated, It can be frustrating to experience the stigma and misunderstand that comes with BPD. As we struggle for wellness we want people to see how far we have come and encourage us to continue on our journey. Unfortunately, some people do not, and will not, understand your battle. They are unable to understand we have a recognized, yet invisible, debilitating disorder. Inability to Cognitively redefine a person: When we begin our path to wellness we must understand that others may be unable, or unwilling, to cognitively redefine us. People with BPD often go for years undiagnosed. In that time our family and friends have learned to define us by our actions and mis-actions. They have hard wired their definition of …

pill-man1

BPD Voices Project: The Pill

The pill Why am I so furious? Nothing’s happened. He said one little thing and I feel isolated in my own mind. I can’t breathe. Oh god I’m loosing control. Stop! Stop! Please stop! I can’t. Butterflies with needles at the tips of their wings flutter inside me. It hurts. Even when you touch me to calm me down feels like hot sick down my arms. Don’t touch me! These tears, flowing aggressively down my cheek burn my skin. They taste like sorrow. “It’s not the end of the world.” Oh god here it comes again. Like a tsunami of darkness I am consumed by my own mind again. Telling me, well of course it isn’t the end of the world. It might as well be for me though when I feel the pain of my own despair. “Just calm down” Ok. Ok. Like the straps of a backpack I’ll just grip in my head calm. Here I go. Gripping and ready…….Calm. Wait. How do you calm? What’s calm??? Oh no. I can’t calm down. …

boundaries

Ask About BPD: Boundaries

Today’s Ask About BPD question is being answered by Lora. One of our questions was about boundaries – how do we set them? ‘How can you tell people you need a couple of days to yourself without them feeling all offended. I mean like I don’t want to text talk hangout nothing. I am a true introvert and sometimes when emotions are really intense I need a couple days to shut off and recharge. But people don’t get it. Tips or advice?’ Setting boundaries is an issue that any kind of person can have- not just people with mental health conditions. Most of the articles I found concerning BPD and boundaries focused on setting boundaries with a BPDer- but we aren’t always the issue! So instead of focusing on our condition- I thought about the question itself- how can we set a boundary without upsetting someone? I’ve found a GREAT article that I hope you will enjoy, because it’s advice for everyone. Just because of our label, doesn’t mean that our problems and dilemmas are …

my pale blue dot

BPD Voices Project: The Pale Blue Dot

From #BPDVoicesPRoject The Pale Blue Dot (Inspired by Carl Sagan) by Julia Mae Thies That dot. That’s us. Every being in history, here. Cowards, destroyers, corrupt inventor of morals. Teachers, explorers, every joy in our history. Aggregate of our suffering suspended in a sunbeam. Earth is a small, cosmic arena of endless cruelties. Frequent, fervent hatred. Momentary masters glory in rivers of blood, triumph of a fraction of a dot. Our obscurity is a lonely, enveloping darkness. Our privileged posturings an obscure position on a point of pale light. No hint of help to save us from ourselves. Earth is the only harbor. There is nowhere near to migrate. Earth, we make our stand. Character building is our responsibility. Humbling human conceits to preserve more kindly the only home we’ve ever known. References: Sagan, Carl. Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space. New York: Random House, 1997. Print If you would like to submit a story or poem to the #BPDVociesProejct please contact us using the form below.

o-UNSURE-COUPLE-facebook

BPD Voices Project: What does it mean to be healed?

From the BPD Voices Proejct: What do you mean by healed? -No longer meeting the criteria. Ana In 2009 I attempted suicide for the 2nd time. It was after this I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar. I accepted this diagnoses, and embraced it. I now had a reason, an excuse. Being diagnosed explained my reckless behaviour, the drugs, the drinking and the longing for someone to love me, anyone to love me. I was a single mother to one, in and out of relationships, changing my image to meet the people who were in my life at the time. I had friends and partners come and go, and always had people around me, but I never felt more alone. I became withdrawn in my own personal hell, and did what I could to ease the pain I felt daily. In 2012 I met someone who would change my life. I met someone who would make me see that I wasn’t in a healthy place. Someone who still wanted to hold me after …

prism

Ask About BPD: Splitting and Forgiveness

Ask About BPD – Splitting Dear Ask about BPD, If you’ve been diagnosed with BPD you know what splitting is and how it is something that is prevalent. How do you avoid letting it happen? And once it does, is there anyway to bring yourself around to forgiving the other person? Thank you, Split Dear Split, I can sense your frustration with the feature of splitting, but if you will bear with me a few paragraphs I am going to explain the feature to those who may not know what splitting is or why it happens. Splitting it is where a person divides the world into a polarization of beliefs by focusing selectively on either their negative or positive attributes: black and white, all good or all bad, everything or nothing. Splitting is a very common defense mechanism. It diffuses the anxiety that comes from our innate human inability to comprehend the complexities of a given situation. Splitting compartmentalizes a situation in ways that make it easier for our brains to process. Everyone has something …

talking

Language Matters

Today to we are re-bloging and article by Julie T from Teasing the Edge: A Borderline Life, titled The Importance of Using Strength-based Language. It is about why language in mental health is so very important. Monday, March 16, 2015 The Importance of Using Strength-based Language “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We have all heard this saying, but if you are like me you have always known that it isn’t quite right. Sometimes words can hurt us much deeper than any weapon could. Those of us who have been exposed to verbal and emotional abuse know just how much pain words can cause, yet we use words that hurt to talk about ourselves and others all the time. Many times we don’t even realize how much our word choice is impacting how we see ourselves. “I’m a borderline”, “he’s schizophrenic”, “she’s bipolar”, “I’m too low functioning to hold a job”, “John is dangerous when he has a meltdown”, “Susan is depressed”. The way we talk about ourselves and others …